please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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