It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
