Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
