This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
