so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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