My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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