what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
