between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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