everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
