Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
