you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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