I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
