did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
