Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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