its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
