i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
