i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
