im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
