I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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