You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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