I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
