woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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