am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
