Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
