it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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