i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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