I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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