Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
