he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
