so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
