O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
