and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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