Apparently you make a good broom.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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