How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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