with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
