"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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