I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
