if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
