You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
