i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
