I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have post one night stand depression
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
