i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
