I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
