Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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