Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
