umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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