Soap is not a condiment
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
