dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize