His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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