I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
