My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These tits shall not be calmed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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