About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
